My Connections to Play

I love these quotes because they are about playing not with standard toys, but by using your mind and imagination. The second quote about getting to know people reminds me of all the hours we spend playing games, and how the competition has made many lasting memories with our family and friends.

 This was my very favorite baby growing up. Almost every picture from my childhood has "Baby Beans" in it. (She has beans in her bottom to help her sit up.) Even when she lost her hat, got dirty, and scuffed her face paint, she remained my most cherished possession. In times of hurt and trauma growing up, she was my comfort. I still have her in a box as an adult.

 Music has always been an essential part of my life. My parents did not have the money for dance lessons, so when my Grandmother bought me this ballerina, she was my way to pretend I could be a dancer too. She came with cassette tapes that I could play and dance around the room just like the doll.

When I was a child, my parents we both divorced and each remarried. All four parents worked full time, and there were 5 kids in our home. We spent a lot of time playing with our siblings, under the watch of a babysitter. When my mom was not working she would play Barbies with us. She was the best at putting braids in our Barbie's hair, and would also sew little custom clothes for them. We did not have much money, but my mom let us create solutions when we could not afford toys. Instead of the fancy Barbie houses our friends parents bought, we reused an old set of plastic shelves with some fabric and paper to make our own. Our Barbie car was a shoe box, but that meant we could design it any way we felt like. It turned out amazing, and our friends loved coming to our house to play.

At my dads, my favorite memories were around a giant dirt pile behind our garage. The pile seemed like it went on forever in our young minds, although to an adult it probably was not more than a few feet tall. We used spoons, sticks, hotwheels cars, bits of wood, or anything else we could get our hands on to create whole worlds in that dirt. There were tunnels, rivers, cities, wars, races, and so many more adventures. My siblings and I spent hours and hours on that pile of dirt, with the only directives coming from what we negotiated (or fought about) with each other. Many of my siblings adult friendships still last today were built on that dirt pile.

Today play has changed significantly. We did not own video games growing up, but my own children love playing them now. There are so very many devices, we are beginning to have trouble keeping my son off electronics as he grows into a teen. His relationships with his friends arebuilt partially from conversations and competitions through the computer gaming platforms such as Roblox, Terraria, and Minecraft. Both of my children are limited in their technology time during the week, and are able to spend time playing with Legos, building contraptions out of found materials, and playing games with each other. I am so proud that our house is like my parents, a place in the neighborhood for kids to gather and play both inside and outside. The kids spend time outside around a large pond searching for frogs and bugs, making forts from sticks, and negotiating their own games. As a parent, I participated in their play less and less as they grow, but we have spent countless hours over the years playing together, especially creating.

My brother-in-law recently joked with them about penciling him into their calendar when they have a free hour. It was meant as a joke, but in truth how many kids really do not have a free hour in their day for unrestricted play? I hear from my students they don't have time to read or play because they are so busy. My own children have clubs, sports, music, and schoolwork to take up a lot of their free time. However, my own childhood was spent at the library, music lessons, soccer, and so very many hours of church. We still managed to find time to play, as my own children do now.

I think sometimes people brush off that children are too busy because we ourselves seem to busy. Without all the hours many people spend on social media and other technology, what we may find is those critical play hours are still available for the taking. In talking to second grade families, one of the things we discuss is finding those hidden pockets of time, and using them wisely. Just because we are driving does not limit play, it just makes play mobile. People limit play! It does not have to involve fields and hours. Family game night may be 45 minutes on evenings without scheduled events and does not limit itself to structured games. Even 20 minutes to truly be free to play is engaging for a child. Play is how we build memories, its how we relate to one another and learn to resolve conflict, and it relaxes people so they are more able to share their true selves with one another. There are times in the day for play, we just need to be much more purposeful to find them.