The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

This was our church home

Bias, prejudice, or oppression can take many forms and come from many sources. Sometimes those sources are strangers and people who do not matter, so it is easier to write off the experience. Other times the source is much more important and can be life changing. My husband and I were looking for a church home when our children were small. After trying many places, we finally settled on a church. The pastor was kind, there were other parents with small children, and there were a few other multicultural families in the congregation. These are the kinds of things we looked for-places that would be accepting of an interracial marriage and authentically embracing of our children are not as easy to find in the mid-west. We felt like we had found a supportive, loving, Christian environment to raise our children in so we began to get involved in church activities.

My Husband and I

My husband and I follow politics very closely and enjoy many lively conversations with those who both agree and refute our ideas. During the presidential election for Obama's second term in office, we were particularly frustrated with voter suppression tactics in our home state of Ohio. Many contentious respectful words had been exchanged over social media on the topic. One Sunday after church service, the Bishop's wife called us over to her seat. We had been friendly with her for years and suspected nothing. She spoke directly to my husband and said she had heard from her son there was some disagreement between them. My husband let her know they were having a political debate online, but that he respected her son, and that politics is just very interesting to him. She told him she thought what my husband was posting was not fair, not kind, and against white people. She let him know that this church was supportive of all people, and that she felt like what he had been doing, targeting her son, was my husband being racially unfair to their family, and not a good Christian. Then she point-blank asked my husband if he was a racist.

This incident was a changing day in our lives. My husband is a proud Black man (his choice of self-identity). He was also raised by a proud black preacher and taught to respect the elders of the church. I was angry with this woman's comments and hurt that she would assume our family was racist for speaking out about the injustice of others. My husband was shocked at the incident, then felt ostracized and targeted by the church. Beyond asking him if we was a racist, for not showing any prejudice against her or her family, only debating voter issues that did not prevent him or the other man directly from voting, the bigger issue is that she used her place of power, sitting on the platform at the church altar as the Bishop's wife, to question not his loyalty to the church, his Christianity, and his prejudices. We quietly apologized for any misunderstanding and walked away out of shock and hurt. Shortly afterward, my husband quit participating in church, and not long after, our family left entirely. 

This incident demonstrated we had misread our standing in the church, and changed the equity of our relationship, showing her family had the power in the church and this was the community mindset. While she was just one person, she was the highest-ranking woman in the church, and her husband set the tone for the congregation. They were role models as an older married couple, as teachers of the faith, and as models of their religion. Therefore, their bias was both religious and racial. Once revealed, we began to quickly notice other biases we had overlooked in our years as part of the community. In addition, as we left, those who followed up with questions showed in their invalidation, and refusal to believe us, their loyalty. As Ramsey (2004) noted, the precedent for people is that what you own, your wealth, and your profits take precedence over ideals of freedom and equality. In this incident, what the Bishop's wife demonstrated was that power and religion were more important than racial and religious equality.

Derman-Sparks, and Edwards (2010) argue that if a teacher does not question the cultural values promoted in the classroom, then that teacher is socializing the students to accept the inequality, or imbalance of power relationships in the school and society at large. I would argue the church is a classroom for Christians, a trusted environment to learn about their God with the church leaders as the teachers. In order for equity to be restored the church must reflect on their role in cultural socialization, and look with purpose at the bias they are promoting within the community based on family, power, and tradition. Those within the church must question the values promoted, and stop accepting out of deference the views of those in power if when they are demonstrating prejudice. 

Reference:

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

Ramsey, P. G. (2004). Teaching and learning in a diverse world (pp. 3–6). New York, NY: Teachers College Press.