Start Seeing Diversity: "We Don't Say Dirty!"

            Children notice difference around them. Pelo (2008) notes that by the age of two children see differences in skin color, and by three they notice bias. Children then use what they notice and their interactions with those who have different social identities to form their attitudes around bias (Pelo, 2008). Therefore, when incidents happen with children, how we as adults react is crucial to their development. The incident with a child I witnessed happened on the sidelines of a soccer field about a year ago. My son plays soccer, and we spend many hours in the spring at fields all over the state. On day my daughter was playing in the grass behind the line of parents waiting during warm-ups. She had a ball and saw another little girl also waiting for her brother to play, so we went to ask if the girl wanted to play. The little girl then went to her mom, who was sitting next to me as said, “there’s a strange girl talking to me”. The mother responded by asking her daughter to point out the girl. Pointing, the girl said, “Her. There’s something wrong with her. She’s dirty! Look mom at her arms, her face, she’s dirty. I don’t want to play with her.” Her mother immediately looked around at the other parents, and then told her daughter to sit right next to her on the ground, she said “You don’t have to play, but you can’t say dirty out here.”

            The adult served to silence the child, which reinforced the idea that the girl should not question the difference, and also that she does not need to branch out and explore for herself either. That reaction enforces the status quo socialization that keeps children from finding common ground (Harro, 2010). In addition, her instruction for her child to sit right next to the mother, allows the girl to formulate the bias that it is safer to stay by her mother than play with someone of darker skin than the girl. If instead, the mother had instructed her child that my daughter was not in fact dirty, but just had darker skin, she could have used this incident has an opportunity to empower her daughter, and help her daughter become more comfortable reaching outside her race to make friends (Harro, 2010).

            If this incident had happened at school instead, an anti-bias educator could have responded first to support the child who was called dirty, ensuring she was ok, and supporting her by reinforcing the positive belief that people of all shades of color are equal. Then, the teacher could take the other child aside and show her pictures of people to help her understand that not everyone is white, and those who are not the same color as the girl are not dirty or scary, but worthy of respect and kindness just as she is. For the anti-bias teacher, I think it is important to keep in mind Derman-Sparks and Ramsey’s note, that people of color should not be forced to listen while white people work out their racism (Pelo, 2008). For children, play is an opportunity to bridge those barriers in a safe and secure way, and test out bias beliefs but only as far as parents and teachers allow. For educators, then, especially in all white class settings, it is imperative that teachers build relationships with parents that are open and supportive of the teacher. When an educator challenges the child to notice these biases and change their thinking, the teacher needs to have the parent’s understanding and partnership (Brooker and Woodhead, 2008).

Reference:

Harro, B. (2010). The cycle of socialization. In M. Adams, W. Blumenfeld, C. Castaneda, H. W. Hackman, M. L. Peters, & X. Zuniga (Eds.), Readings for diversity and social justice (Figure 6.1 on p. 46, 2nd ed.). New York, NY: Routledge.

Brooker, L., & Woodhead, M. (2008). Early childhood in focus 3: Developing positive identities: Diversity and young children. Retrieved from https://bernardvanleer.org/publications-reports/developing-positive-identitiesdiversity-and-young-children/

Harro, B. (2010). The cycle of liberation. In M. Adams, W. Blumenfeld, C. Castaneda, H. W. Hackman, M. L. Peters, & X. Zuniga (Eds.), Readings for diversity and social justice (Figure 7.1 on p. 53, 2nd ed.). New York, NY: Routledge.

Pelo, A. (Ed.). (2008). Rethinking early childhood education. Milwaukee, WI: Rethinking Schools.